What is family?

I've been thinking a lot recently about "what is family" based on things my son has said, comments directed toward me, and comments about how our lives.

I went to dictionary.com this morning and the points below are only a few of 20 different ways the word "family" can be used. These are the ones pertinent to my article today:

"parents and their children, considered as a group, whether dwelling together or not."

"any group of persons closely related by blood, as parents, children, uncles, aunts, and cousins."

It has been questioned where Jon, Jonnie, and I are really a family. As you can see by the above definitions we most certainly are! With Jon and I being married and Jonnie being a creation of us through our blood and the fact that we dwell under the same roof, solidifies that we are a family.

The fact that we are a family is not erased because we often separate at holidays. The truth is that we generally have a limited amount of time around holidays because of work and we both want to see our families. Since 2006 after my Dad fell and broke his hip and the series of other medical issues that have befallen my parents, I have wanted to be closer with them. My parents are my family because I was created by their blood even though I am no longer dwelling in their house.

Jonnie talks about his cousins; most recent discussion was yesterday. He rattled off who he thought were his cousins. Given the definitions above, we had to correct him. Jonnie's cousins through blood lineage are Nicki, Shelly, Caemon, Hannah, Julianna, Angela, and Veronica. Nicki and Shelly are Jon's blood nieces (Jon & his brother Craig share the same mother) and they are my nieces through marriage. Hannah, Caemon, Julianna, Angela, and Veronica are Jonnie's cousins through being children of my husband's cousins who are children of his Aunts Nina & Lola. We did not go into this detail with Jonnie. We just gave him the names of who his cousins are and left it at that.

Our family unity is questioned because we take separate vacations. Jon and I did tons of things together during our first 5 years of marriage and we also did some things separately. Over the going on 13 years that we've been married, our interests have changed, our jobs have changed, and our lives changed with the birth of Jonnie almost 6 years ago. Jon became interested in shooting in 2003 and his love for shooting took off from there. He's now a competitive shooter and he his match director at Big Darby, he attends matches at Pickaway, he takes classes, and he goes to competitions. Jon will board airplanes or drive for hours to do these things because he loves it. This is not to say that he does not love Jonnie & I; he keeps in touch with his frequently by phone calls, text messages, and email. Jon's vacation is almost used up with classes and competitions with the except of days he reserves for use at Thanksgiving or Christmas depending on which holiday we have to go out of town.

However, I prefer quieter hobbies like walking, gardening, and reading. I've been shooting and still try to get out sometimes but I don't want to be like Jon. I drive to get where I need to go but don't like to drive for long periods of time. Frankly, the drive to my parents is about as much as I can truly tolerate. I absolutely hate flying. I understand the security but have often felt I've been treated unfairly during a couple of the security checks in my previous flying days. I quipped to Jon that he could get on a plane without hassle checking firearms but that I'd be held back because of my shampoo! I accrue vacation time and with my work, I definitely need to get away!! That is why I searched for bus trips this year for my summer vacation. I found the perfect vacation that allows me to get away without driving and gives me the chance to walk, see flowers & other sites, and possibly read even if it's in my hotel room. Jon has seen a lot of the US through trips he took with the Boy Scouts while growing up. My travel growing up was limited to Southern Ohio and South Dakota because that's where we have family.

Do I sometimes wish we were "normal" where we all piled into the family station wagon....errrrr...minivan with a clam shell on top and drove somewhere for a week? At times, yes. There may come a time when Jonnie gets older that Jon & I adjust our personal vacations by taking shorter trips so we can take a long weekend trip as a family unit somewhere. Unlike the Griswalds, I don't see us using our vacation time to take a two-week trek somewhere. Although we are a family, each of us has separate interests and for the livelihood of our family, it's important that we pursue those so we do not lose sight of who we are as individuals.